


And I Suddenly Feel the Branch Give Way

by Levis_turtles



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: M/M, Soulmate AU, Suicide, Suicide mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-22 13:17:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10697787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Levis_turtles/pseuds/Levis_turtles
Summary: Evan Hansen felt it when his soulmate died.





	And I Suddenly Feel the Branch Give Way

Evan Hansen felt it when his soulmate died.

It was something that happened to everyone, eventually – usually after a long and happy life together. But Evan Hansen felt his soulmate die before they’d even had the chance to meet.

He had an idea about who it was – Connor Murphy, in the year above. Evan had had the name ‘Connor’ scrawled across his arm since he was born, but there were a lot of Connor’s in the world, and Evan couldn’t be sure that Connor Murphy was his Connor until the news of his death hit the school.

It had hurt, when Connor had died. The pain had started in his chest, then migrated to his arm, where the narrow black letters, one by one, began to fade away.

Evan had cried – he wasn’t ashamed to admit it. He had been in the kitchen, and when the burning started, he’d collapsed to the floor. That was where his mother found him, hours later. She had held him to her chest, pressed kisses to his hair, but nothing she could do would ease the harsh ache of Evan’s heart in his chest.

People gave Evan their condolences in school. Everyone noticed that Connor’s name had disappeared from his arm – even if they hadn’t been able to see that Connor was gone, they would have known.

For all intents and purposes, Evan was gone, too.

Teachers spoke to him, but he didn’t hear them. Jared started spending more time with him, but Evan didn’t absorb a singe word he said. Evan didn’t talk a lot – he couldn’t bring himself to think of anything to say, let alone move his mouth to actually say it.

Evan didn’t say anything, until one day, Zoe Murphy sat down at his dinner table.

“You’re Evan,” she said – it wasn’t a question. Evan nodded, and she smiled – small, withered, sad. “My brother loved you,” she said. “I didn't see his mark often – it was on his waist – but it was you. He used to touch it, when he was sad. My mother said that your name was his first word – it appeared on him when you were born, I guess, and your name was the first word he said.”

Evan’s chest was burning, his throat was burning, his eyes were burning. Zoe’s figure was a blur in front of him, but he couldn’t bring himself to blink the tears away. “Why are you telling me this?” Evan asked.

It was the first thing he’d said since Connor had died. 

“I just wanted you to know,” Zoe said. “My mother wanted to meet you, but- I didn’t think it would be a good idea, for any of us.”

Evan nodded – she was right. If Evan had had to meet Connor’s parents – see the place where Connor had grown up, where he had lived, where he had _died_ -

“Thank you,” Evan said. He ran his hand over the bare skin of his arm, where Connor’s name had been. His arm felt bare without it – he felt naked without it.

Zoe reached out, touched Evan’s shoulder. “Hang in there, okay?”

Evan nodded, “Okay.”

 

At the end of the day, Evan pulled out his phone and sent a text to his mother.

I Love You.

 

They found Evan’s body three days later, at the bottom of a tree. They had examined the tree, looked for a snapped branch or _something_ that meant that Evan hadn’t let go of the tree, hadn’t done this to himself.

They didn’t find it.


End file.
